How to Find an Egg Donor

Your egg donor can be someone blood related to you (female partner) to preserve the genetic link, or you could choose a pre-screened egg donor from one of the many egg donor agencies. Most (but not all) donor agency Donor Egg IVF treatments are anonymous.

There are several egg donor agencies in the San Francisco Bay Area. The donors are typically young (and likely very fertile) women with low risk for disease transmission and substance abuse.

Once you have selected your egg donor, she will be instructed by the agency to contact Bay IVF directly to schedule her initial consultation. You might prefer to meet your prospective egg donor or decide that your donor should remain anonymous. An anonymous Donor Egg IVF is a very confidential treatment. Your identity will not be revealed to the egg donor.

Once your Donor Egg IVF treatment at Bay IVF is completed, the pregnancy becomes indistinguishable from conception through intercourse.

If your egg donor lives outside of the San Francisco Bay Area, please see Out of Area Patients for additional important information.

You can find an egg donor agency on your own, or you can choose one of the following agencies we have worked with and recommend.

 

Donor Egg IVF Guidelines

 

Questions to Consider

 

• Why is Donor Egg IVF a better option for you and your partner than adoption or child-free living?

• Have you discussed using donor eggs with your family? Why or why not? What were their reactions?

• Who will you tell about your child’s background and when?

• While you will be the gestational parent but not the genetic parent of the child, your partner will be the genetic parent of the child. How does this make you feel?

• Have you thought about if you will tell your child about his/her background? If so, when? If so, when and how?

• Have you considered how you might feel if, after all the interaction and sharing with a known donor, you do not get pregnant?

• Have you and your partner discussed the number of embryos to be transferred? Are you aware that a greater number of embryos transferred results in higher rates of multiple pregnancy?

• Do you know what selective termination or selective reduction means? How do you feel about it? Do you know the risks of miscarriage from multiple pregnancies versus the risks of miscarriage from selective termination?

• Have you considered how you would feel if the child were born with a birth defect? Given that the male partner is the genetic partner, what level of responsibility would he feel in comparison with the female partner in this circumstance?

• How would you feel if the donor provided eggs for another couple?

How to Choose an Egg Donor Agency

 

• What is the fee schedule for the provider’s services? Do you have to pay a fee up front? Is the fee refundable if you change your mind about a donor? What exactly do the fees cover? Does the agency charge differently if you pay cash, check, or credit card?

• What is the fee for the donor herself? Can she set her reimbursement herself? If she has provided eggs before has her price remained the same or gone up? If the recipient pays the donor’s expenses, does the agency provide an itemized list of expenses?

• What kind of screening does the donor need to have? What is the psychological screening, and who performs it? The agency or a third party? Is there an extra charge for psychological testing (i.e., MMPI)? Can you see the results of the testing? Can you have the donor tested by a third party of your choosing?

• Does the agency facilitate a meeting between you and the donor if you wish to meet? Does the agency provide anonymous donors, known donors, or both?

• What kinds of records and information are kept on egg donors, where and for how long? Are they accessible in the future? For how long?

• What does the agency do to ensure that a donor has not donated too many times before regarding resultant offspring?

• What is the legal contract the agency requires the donor to sign?

• How many donors does the agency match with recipients in a year? Out of the number of donors matched how many stimulation cycles, egg retrievals, pregnancies, and births have resulted?

• Does the donor agency help an uninsured donor find medical coverage?

Finding an Egg Donor on Your Own

 

• An egg donor can be a relative, friend, or you may want to find a donor on your own, rather than using an egg donor agency.

• A blood-related (to the female partner) donor can be an excellent choice as long as the potential donor is not pressured into the treatment. Also, consider what would happen to the family relationships if the treatment is unsuccessful. The feeling of guilt of "letting you down" by the egg donor may be profound.

• Your donor does not have to live locally. It is possible to minimize the number of your donor’s visits to Bay IVF. She would need to come for a two-day visit prior to the beginning of the Donor Egg IVF cycle and stay for about a week during the treatment itself. If your egg donor lives outside of the San Francisco Bay Area, please see Out of Area Patients for additional important information.

Positive Indicators when Searching for a Qualified Egg Donor

• Younger than 36 years of age

• History of at least one pregnancy within the last 5 years

• History of regular menstrual periods

• No history of infertility

Negative Indicators when Searching for a Qualified Egg Donor

 

• Positive family history for inheritable psychiatric disorder

• Substance abuse or two or more first-degree relatives with substance dependence

• Current use of psychotropic medications

• Family history of sexual or physical abuse without professional treatment for the donor

• Chaotic lifestyle

• Significant current stress

• Marital relationship instability

• History of legal difficulties

• High-risk sexual practices

• Under the age of 21

• Desperate financial situation

• Objection to Donor Egg IVF by the partner of a potential donor

General Questions to Ask Potential Egg Donors

 

• Why do you want to participate in Donor Egg IVF?

• Why did you choose to be a known donor?

• What are your feelings about being available in the future for the baby?

• What are your expectations about how a child born from this treatment should be raised?

• Does it matter if the prospective parents are married?

• Does it matter if I (as the recipient) am single or a lesbian?

• How do you think you would feel if the procedure does not succeed?

• Are you aware that excess eggs may be fertilized and frozen as embryos?

• Do you expect any legal relationship with the baby?

• What are your expectations, if any, around receiving a fee for your participation?

• Are you willing to participate a second time if we desire siblings for our child, or if pregnancy did not result from the first attempt?

• How do you feel about our decision to give embryos to another couple or make them available for scientific research?

• Do you have any children of your own? How many do you have, and what are their ages?

• Are you willing to participate in a counseling session?

• Are you aware that you will need to sign a legal agreement detailing your willingness to sacrifice all parental claim and responsibility?

• Do you have health insurance in the unlikely event of post-treatment complications?

• If you have a partner, how does he feel about your interest in donating eggs?

• What is your understanding of the medical procedure needed to stimulate your ovaries and retrieve eggs?

• Who will be your support person during the treatment? Who will give you your injections?

• Are you aware that we may have a twin pregnancy? How do you feel about this possibility?

• Are there people with whom you have shared your interest to be an egg donor? If so, what were their reactions?

• Why do you think you would be a good egg donor?

• What do you believe your strengths and weaknesses are?

• Do you have any ethical or religious viewpoints which might affect your decision to be an egg donor?

• Where did you learn about this opportunity?

• How do you feel about the possibility that embryos may be frozen for a long time, perhaps for years?

• What are your feelings about selective termination or selective reduction?

Specific Questions When the Donor Is a Relative or Close Friend

 

• It is presumed that any donor who is a relative or close friend will have an ongoing or close relationship with the future parents. Consequently, the questions do not need to be as expansive as with a recruited donor.

• Is there anything significant about your relationship with your relative that contributed to your decision to donate eggs?

• What are your concerns associated with donating eggs to a relative?

• How do you imagine your relationship will change by donating eggs?

• How does your family feel about your decision to donate eggs to a relative?

• Who will know about this decision, and who will not?

• If you have decided to keep this private, how do you expect to handle an unplanned disclosure?

• If you have a partner, how does he feel about the possibility of a baby born through Donor Egg IVF? Will he participate in counseling if requested?

• Have you discussed with your partner the risks associated with this procedure and the medication you would take?

Specific Questions for a Donor Who Is Willing To Meet With the Recipient Patient

 

• Does your family have a tendency towards any particular illnesses, i.e., allergies, intestinal problem, cancer, heart disease, or psychological problems? Who had one or more of these diseases, and at what age did the onset occur?

• Are your blood relatives living, i.e., parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, and uncles? If not, how old were they when they died, and what was the cause of death?

• Have you or any member of your immediate family ever smoked, drank or used illegal substances? To what extent?

• Have you ever been pregnant? What was the outcome?

• Have you ever donated eggs before? If so, how many follicles developed? How many eggs were retrieved? How many successfully fertilized? Was there a resulting pregnancy, multiple pregnancy?

• What can you tell us about your family? Who are they, and what are their ages? What are their vocational and avocational interests, hobbies, talents, and dispositions? What are their physical characteristics such as skin tone, weight, and height?

• Do you have any children? If yes, how old are they now? When did they learn to walk and talk? Have there been any significant health issues we should know about? What are their unique abilities and interests? What was their birth weight and length?

• If you do not have children, why do you want to help us have a baby using your egg(s)? Have you considered the unlikely circumstance where at a later date you might be unable to conceive?

• What is your family’s genealogical heritage or history? What country(s) did your ancestors come from, where did they settle and when?

• Why do you want to be a donor? If you have already donated, how was that experience?

• If we get pregnant, will you tell your family members including your children? If so, how will you tell them and when? Would you want your children to know that our child would share half of their genetic heritage? How will you handle their questions?

• May we see or have pictures of your family, siblings, and children? If we desire, may we meet with your immediate family, including your children?

• Have you thought about how you would feel if, after all this interaction and sharing, we do not get pregnant?

• Have you thought about whether you would like any ongoing contact such as pictures, phone calls or meeting the child?

• Is your job or school situation flexible enough to do this procedure? If you have children, do you have childcare available?